The Pew Research Center just released a report that describes the rapid increment in the number and proportion of single-parent homes headed by fathers.
Since 1960, the number has increased from less than 300,000 to more than 2.6 million (as of 2011), more than a 900 percent increase. Even this number is still far short of the number of single-mothers homes (8.6milion), nearly 1 in 4 single-parent homes (24 percent) are now headed by a dad.
This week, I was asked to attend the radio talk show along with the lead researcher of the study. And several single fathers are invited to share their stories about what it is like to raise a child as a single father. And one father’s story particularly struck me. He is just only 22 years old and has three children and the oldest is 7 years old. If you do the math, then he was just 15 when he had his first child. And yet he had completed his high school and became an electrician, despite the mother walking out on the family. He accepted his responsibilities of caring for his three children and he and his children are doing very well.
When the host of the show asked him what he most needs, then he replied to a female presence for his two daughters. And this was a theme that echoed by other callers. Because I do not need to share it with the listeners, that’s why surprising thing is that single parents most need the resources to fulfill the requirements of their children. Perhaps counter-intuitively, even when they focus on the needs of their children that what they want, in reality, they meet with most of their own needs.
This theme also makes me compelled to think about what single dads need that is unique to them or that are not as readily available to single fathers as they are to single mothers. And by accessing these resources will ultimately help dingle dads to help their children.
Female mentors for their sons and daughters.
This is the most desperate thing a single dad needs for their sons and daughters, a female mentor. Because their daughters need a role model that only a woman can provide them. And their sons need a relational model that only a woman can provide. That’s why single dads should look within their immediate circles of influence—cousins, sisters, neighbors, co-workers, etc.—for women willing to spend even as little as an hour or a week or a month guiding a female’s viewpoint.
Community support groups for single fathers.
America’s communities are full of supportive groups for mothers or single mothers that provide support for the challenges faced by single moms. Our communities are fear of such groups for dads. I have heard lots of stories of single and stay-at-home fathers. That they joined the groups that support mothers because they do not find groups for dads. To be fair, single motherhood has been much more common rather than single fatherhood for a long time, and that’s why the availability of groups for single moms is partly a function of time. But it is also true to live in a function that looks more positively to single motherhood than single fatherhood. We men can be our own best worst enemy, in these cases, because we do not tend to a group as much as women do for mutual support and especially when it comes to parenting styles and other emotionally charged issues.
Access to and willingness to use government and social-service programs that help low-income single parents.
According to Pew report notes, a single dad has more chances than a married dad to live in poverty—1 in 4 single fathers lives at or below the poverty line compared to less than 1 in 10 married fathers. That’s why there is a need for these fathers to find the same kind of assistance available to low-income single mothers. Also, these fathers must be ready to ask for this help when they need it, which is a hard pill for fathers in particular to swallow because of the importance fathers place on providing financially for their children. Most of the time fathers often view acceptance of help as a sign that they fail to complete their duties as a man and as a father. Viewing this assistance as help that gets single fathers and their families through tough times will help them to overcome this view or perspective.
Use Online Resource
It is true that on the internet not much available for fathers, let alone fathers in comparison to what is available for mothers and single mothers. Eventually, there are few resources such as Single Dad and the Single Dad network that is part of the Single Parents Network, because the single father also needs all the resources that will be required as a married father. And they can avail themselves of NFI’s resources for fathers. In these resources, they include the very popular Countdown to Growing UpTM child growth and development trackers. And the single fathers must have to sign up twice a week for NFI, free Dad Email that contains tips and guidance for dads and join the Dads group.